


All we ever wanted

by EnchantedbookLover18



Series: Fictober 2020 [20]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Day 20, Episode: s17e14 On Fire, F/M, Fictober 2020, Injury, prompt 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedbookLover18/pseuds/EnchantedbookLover18
Summary: She sat on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down her face. She could feel her anxiety kicking in full force, panic flooding her system in waves. This wasn’t how she’d expected this day to turn out.
Relationships: Ellie Bishop & Nick Torres, Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Series: Fictober 2020 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947187
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	All we ever wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Fictober 2020 #Prompt 10: "all I ever wanted"

She sat on the bathroom floor, tears streaming down her face. She could feel her anxiety kicking in full force, panic flooding her system in waves. This wasn’t how she’d expected this day to turn out. They’d planned to go for a morning run a few days ago, challenging each other who would be faster and more persistent than the other. Ellie had practiced on her own for weeks, apart from their joined runs every week. She needed to beat him so badly, to see how that smug grin faded away once she crossed the ‘finish line’ – a lamp post covered with graffiti by some street artists on the other end of the neighbourhood. When they’d made plans for today, she thought this was it, the day she’d finally defeat him. Now she wished they’d never gone for the run and instead met for breakfast. Then Nick wouldn’t lie in the hospital bed right this moment, fighting for his life.

Ellie sucked in a deep, faltering breath. This couldn’t be happening; she needed him, she wanted him. He had to stay alive. Nick was her co-worker, her best friend. And if she was being honest with herself, he was also the man she’d loved for months but was too much of a chicken to admit it.

After her argument with Tim McGee in the hospital hallway about how she couldn’t possibly be thinking about killing Xavier Zolotov, Ellie hadn’t left right away. Once McGee was out of sight, she’d found the nearest bathroom where she was now. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see or think clearly. Everything was in a blur, the panic and anxiety for Nick who could die became too much dear bear and clouded her judgement. She knew that. If he’d die…No, she couldn’t go there. The thought of a life without Nick ripped her heart in two.

*****

Later she wouldn’t recall how she’d managed to pull herself together after breaking down in a hospital bathroom. Was it because a nice nurse suddenly came walking in, saw her on the floor and immediately got her some water and tissues? Because the same nurse helped her with some breathing exercises to calm her nerves? Anything was possible.

Ellie had left afterwards, still looking dishevelled and worn-out, and gone to meet Odette Malone. The two women had only started training a few weeks prior at Ziva David’s urging. When the team had found out that Nick’s former suspect Coleen Kennedy, Xavier’s girlfriend, had planned the hit-and-run to kill Nick and Xavier was just the lucky one to execute it, Ellie let herself feel a tiny bit of relief. They’d found the people responsible for Nick and her accident. The only bitter pill was that Xavier got killed in the process and the team hadn’t been able to find the person who was responsible for his death. McGee suspected Ellie at first, because of her outburst and threatening to kill Xavier the night before, and they could probably both agree on also suspecting Gibbs. After all, Nick was like a son to the older man and he’d killed someone for family before, so it wouldn’t be the first time. But all of this didn’t seem to matter anymore, for now, when they finally caught Coleen who tried to murder Nick again in the hospital. Although she claimed to not have been the one who murdered Xavier, all circumstantial evidence pointed at her as the suspect.

Once the culprit was in custody, Ellie could finally talk to Nick again who’d thankfully survived the emergency operation and was on his way to recovery.

She sat on the bed facing him, a hand covering his own above the hospital blanket, stroking his fingers. Ellie had waited for days on end to see him again, awake, and talk to him. The fear of losing him was still present like the elephant in the room. She knew it wouldn’t go away just like that because he was suddenly awake and the doctors said he’d be okay. She could’ve lost him. In the blink of an eye, he could’ve left her alone in this world. Only darkness surrounding her. She could feel it in her bones that he was the one grounding her, pulling her back into the light when every good thing seemed to fade away. Nick was her anchor.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Nick looked at Ellie quizzically as if he tried to find out about all of her darkest secrets only by looking at her long enough. “McGee mentioned that…you said- McGee said you threatened to kill Xavier Zolotov. For me. And that you seemed dead serious. Is that true?”

Ellie gulped. She’d expected this topic to come up eventually but she’d hoped for a few more days to prepare an answer. Damn McGee and his big mouth. “Yeah, I said something like that,” she looked at Nick, trying to figure out his reaction but he just stared at her, keeping a stiff upper lip. Ellie gave her voice a stronger, determined undertone. “And I meant it. Damn well. I’m not afraid – and wasn’t afraid back then – of the consequences. He tried to kill you. You could have died in my arms. I couldn’t let him get away with his stupid sovereign immunity.”

Nick freed his hand from hers only to be the one clasping around hers again, stroking her fingers. “I know. I can see it in your eyes that you mean it,” he whispered, locking eyes with her. “And I want you to know that I would’ve done the same. For you.”

Ellie’s breath hitched for a second. Her heart started beating faster than before, she could hear her pulse in her ears quickening. She gulped again but didn’t look away. “I only wish I would’ve been the one to actually kill him.”

“Ellie…” Nick murmured, unconsciously closing the distance between their bodies by tugging at her hand in his own. Ellie had to move upwards so she could meet his demand. But she didn’t mind a single bit.

Nick’s voice was hoarse when he spoke again. “Ellie…I need you to know what’ll happen now, so you can decide to leave at any moment. I’m going to kiss you now. Because that’s **all I ever wanted**. And I really can’t hold myself back any longer.”

Ellie’s nerves fluttered but she didn’t say anything to interrupt him. She didn’t have to protest because this was all she ever wanted too. So, when he leaned in to close the remaining distance between their faces, Ellie didn’t do anything to stop Nick. She placed a hand on the back of his head to pull him closer to her, deepening the slow and soft at first but then more passionate kiss. The couple felt like they had to make up for lost time. If either of them would’ve had the guts to come clean months ago, they could’ve done this way sooner. But now wasn’t the time to overthink. They’d much better to do with making out on a bed in a hospital room where anyone could walk in and see them at any moment. But neither of them cared that much; they got lost in heated kisses, biting lips and moaning each other’s names under their breaths.


End file.
